by request
by Wingtear
Summary: this contains stuff to hot for my T-rated fic's, and other out-takes that for various reasons don't fit there. First chapter will be updated with summaries for the diff. chapters and explanation to their rating. Not all M rating is for adult content.
1. explanation

**Explanation of "by request"**

This story is more of a gathering of one-shots and things too hot for my T-rated fic's.  
I assure you, not all the chapters in here are M-rated, and of those that are, not all M-ratings are for sexual content. I will have the rating and reason in the chapter titles, and summaries for the chapters here.

This is also where you can request (hence the name) parts of my stories you want to read more about. Just make sure to tell me which story and what chapter you're talking about.

**MS** will be for sexual content  
**MV** will be for violence  
**OUT** will be for general out-take that for some reason don't fit my story.

**N&J** are Nessie & Jacob (well, who else could it be? Nahuel and... Jessica? *joking...*)  
**S&P** are Seth & Phin (or Red and Fluff as they will go under in one particular chapter)  
**E&B** are Embry & Becca (this might get it's very own one-shot post, though)

Summaries:

**#1 Explanation** (you're reading it, I won't sum it up for you)

**#2 rainy lemon:**  
Jacob have had a talk with Nessie, on the beach, about imprinting. Her reaction is not what he expected... Not a full-out lemon, but still too hot for T-rating. This is also my first ever lemon written. Takes place in the middle of chapter 9, revelations in the rain.

**#3 Hospitalization**  
This is pre-Twilight, this is what happened to Phin during her lost years in the mental hospital. It is rated M for violence and pure evil. I will caution readers, it is not a funny chapter, it is utterly disturbing and sick. I hope it gives you a better understanding of why her mind protects itself so hard.

**#4 first time  
**What happens when chapter 4 of RED ends? Here it is, all the naughty details. Full-out lemon**, **aka hot werewolf sex. It still has humor, wouldn't be Fluff (Seth) and Red (Phin) if there weren't.

**#5 naughty board game**  
Chapter 14 of "Doing what they shouldn't be" ends, and this one takes off. Takes it all off as a matter of fact. All the way. Don't think about it in front of Edward please.

I will update this first chapter everytime I post a new chapter here, with summaries.  
Ninna - Wingtear


	2. rainy lemon N&J MS

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest is just a product of my filthy imagination... So, this is my first attempt at a lemon, be kind to me... If you're new to this, this is a out-take from my story "Doing what they shouldn't be" and, well, it's too heathed to be in a T-rated fic... **Enjoy!**

**beta: Animegaijingirl** (also the one who inspired it while chatting with me on MSN one Monday night)  
--

**Jacob**

... She threw her head back, and when she came back up straight she started easing herself closer to me. As she straddled me and leaned in to kiss me so hungrily I wondered how I had been able to deny her this for so many years, the rain came down on us. I leaned back on my arms and took in her exquisite being. "Nessie, you're getting all wet, we should go back now."

--**  
**

From where she sat, perched over my hips, she shook her head.

"I'm not going anywhere. A little rain won't kill me." But it might kill me! I knew perfectly well she had nothing under that t-shirt. There were no bras in my house, and the one she had worn last night had been cut to pieces as Carlisle examined her. My worries disappeared as she lay down over me and reached for my lips again. I felt her chest heave against mine, so soft against my hard muscles, and was awkwardly aware of what reaction that provoked about two feet lower down. The slow pounding was familiar, and I hoped she wouldn't notice.

The sky opened, and we were drenched in water. I slowly rolled her over to what little cover the cave opening might give us, and she rolled with me, until she was once more on top of me. She stretched up, shaking the sand from her hair and I was suddenly gasping for air. Her boobs, so beautiful, evidently perky from the cold rain, were perfectly visible under the wet t-shirt that clung to her body like a second skin. I felt the pounding grow heavier in my lower regions.

I turned her around, so she faced away from me when I lay, her back down on top of me, just to be sure. Those beautiful, bra-less breasts of hers should not be in my view right now. I felt her adjusting slightly, and became ashamed of myself as I realized she was shifting over my arousal. I grabbed her by the waist, intending to lift her off of me, but she grabbed my hand and held it tight. She placed it against her cheek, and once again showed me what she had intended to do with me in that hotel room. In an underlying note, I felt her mind telling me to not bother to be playing prude. ME? PRUDE? And as I pondered that, she rubbed herself against me. And I don't mean against my chest either, but against _me_...

Next thing I knew, my hand was traveling down her stomach, directed by hers on top of it, and I swooned over the softness of the bare skin exposed there. I let my finger trail around her bellybutton and slowly caressed the sharp curve of her hip bone, just above the waistline of her jeans, trying to think about Embry, naked and phasing, my dad when I helped him shower, anything but what I was doing and what she was showing me. Suddenly the images changed, they grew deeper, darker somehow. If she had spoken, I'd say her voice had turned husky, and then I felt her hand gripping mine tighter.  
_  
"Humor me, please, Jacob"_ the urgency of her mental plea overwhelmed me. I struggled to reach her head and kissed her hair, as I tried to stutter out the words.

"Anything you want Nessie, anything..." Shouldn't have said that, I knew it as the words slipped from my tongue.

Her hand, flattening out on top of mine, still steering, slipped our joined hands down inside the front of her jeans. The jerk from my pelvis made her jump a little, and I tried to move.  
_"You promised..."_ That I had, and there was no turning back.

She wore no underpants, for the same reason she wore no bra, there were none in my house. The soft hairs right under the waistline tantalized me, and I felt myself stiffen even more, it was getting painful. She allowed me to play with her hair for a little while, before urging me on. The only thing she showed me was her current emotions, and they did nothing to diminish my lust. As my hand touched a silky, wet tab of skin, sticking out from her otherwise smooth gender I felt her mind leap with joy. I let my finger press it gently, and her excitement increased.

She withdrew her hand, and given a little more room to move, I let a finger trail along her edges. She slowly started to squeeze my arousal with her butt, and the waves it sent through me were nothing like those dull dreams I once had. I was breathing heavily, causing her hair to fly in all directions around us. The rhythm of her massage pushed me to the peak and I brought up my free hand to still her movements by pressing her firmly against me.

"Ness... You need to stop that, honey..." Her reaction was unexpected. She stopped, then caught my hand and slid it upwards, towards her cheek I guessed.

I almost blew it when she decided to rest my hand on her perky breast. The t-shirt was still soaking from when we were caught by the rain, and I could feel every inch of her as if she were naked. Her other hand reached back to me, and rested against my chin.

Slowly, she let the fingers holding my hand trail down my fingers, making ripples of pleasure quake through my body. She reached where my fingers separated widely to give her nipple free space, and rubbed her fingers over both my fingers and herself. The explosion of raw lust that crashed from her mind to mine was so surprising I slipped my lower fingers inside her. She whimpered a little and rubbed herself against me, while nudging my fingers to her nipple.

The different worlds my hands were in were marvelous. One, embedded in wet, hot silk and the other stroking something chilly and stiff, yet softly pliable. Her breathing came in stutters now, her body arching on top of me, as I let my fingers play with the hard peak on top of her rounded breast. The fingers on the other hand were still embedded in heat, but my thumb had found a little nub, that sent quivering requests of more from her mind to mine, and was rubbing it tenderly.

She did not squeeze me anymore, but her movement against my hand was enough. Just as I was about to put an end to it, to not shame both myself and her, she moaned my name and began to shake. Her images of pulsating love drove me over the edge and as I plummeted, I pressed myself against her, trying to not scream her name out loud, but managed no more than to turn it into a muffled groan of pleasure.

As the tidal wave of lust subsided, we lay panting together for a while. When we heard the voices of people edging closer to us, Nessie sat up, making me groan again. I could not believe she had made me hard again just by moving against me.

"Wanna take a swim?"

"What? Nessie, come on... We need to get back." She looked down at my pants, and the darker stain on the front of the gray fabric.

"Yeah... but we can't very well come back looking like this..." She stood up, and I realized I had soaked the back of her jeans too.

"I guess not..."

"So, I suggest we take a swim, clothes on, and then walk back. After all, we should be soaked, we got caught in the rain..." Her eyes twinkled with laughter and I followed her happily down the beach and into the ocean.

--

We were walking slowly towards my house, hand in hand, as I heard the howls of my brothers. They weren't distressed, and I laughed a little. Nessie wordlessly asked me what was going on, and I looked at her, dripping wet, walking beside me in the pouring rain.....

--

**AN:** So, how did I do? Should I scrap all future lemon-plans, or at least keep them to myself?


	3. Hospitalization Phin MV

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, admittedly there isn't much of that in this chapter, but still, they're there, if you've read my story "Definitely dropped on his head as a baby" you might catch it ;)  
I take this opportunity to once more caution my readers, this chapter is HIGHLY disturbing, and not a fun experience to read. It might however, help you to understand why this part of Phin's life is so heavily suppressed.

Requested/inspired by: Lacrema

Beta: Animegaijingirl  
--

**Hospitalization, **rated M for violence and pure evil

The young police officer picked up the thick envelope that the mailman had brought to the station earlier in the morning. It was stamped in a small community right outside of the city. As he opened it up, a pile of papers held together with rubber bands and a video tape emerged. On top of the stack was an orange post-it note saying:

_I cannot do this anymore. Until this __has_ _ended, I need to remain anonymous, but when you've stopped them, I will step forward._

_Please, save them, save her, before it's too late._

He undid the rubber bands and picked up the first piece of paper, a checkered notebook sheet. The paper quality differed throughout the stack, all filled with a scrambled but readable handwriting that was unmistakably male.

--

Uhm... How do I begin this? Can a 34-year-old, married man, father of three, begin with 'Dear Diary'? I better not. If Helen (that's my wife by the way) ever finds this, I will be in enough trouble without the 'Dear' part...

Maybe I should begin with why I write? Yeah, I'll do that.

My name is (the name had been crossed over so ferociously that there was a long gash in the paper) and I work as security/camera observer at the town's newly re-opened mental institution. Apart from the evident duties of my job, it also consists of 'extra shifts' for a few hours every day. I will tell you more about this later.

The institution used to be outside of town, but was destroyed in a fire caused by one of its patients. Instead of rebuilding it, the thought went to move everything into town. Since times where getting harder, economically speaking, one of the town's newly built hospitals had an entire wing standing empty. After careful examinations it was deemed fit for its purpose, especially because of the elevator going from the top floor down to the basement, which was not connected to the rest of the hospital in any way.

What I am about to tell you is not something for the faint of heart, your already pale paper might turn chalky white before I am done. I have been working with this team of doctors for many years, before the fire even, and never doubted the motives of their work, never questioned their methods. Until today that is. I can not tell Helen, it would break the confidentiality contract I signed when my employment started, but I need to get this off my chest somehow.

It has to do with my 'extra shift', the one which generates me the equivalent of a 12-hour-day's pay in just a few hours. The one that I fear for my life if anyone finds out I write about.

Still, I have never doubted their methods, until today. Therefore today will be day one. That actually sounds good, I'll go with that.

**Day 1**

There was a new appointment on my list today. I was a little concerned at first, no one had discussed this with me, and in order to perform my duties to expected levels I needed to know what to expect. This one came from the night shift (I have early mornings 6-9am) and there was not even a note in the chart about whether she was a screamer, a talker, a wailer or just a silent weeper. Also, no mentioning about who was her questioner. Ugh, doctors... Sometimes they can be so stupid! As I made the mixer table ready for the first of the day's appointments, I grumbled to myself over the complete lack of appreciation they had for how difficult it was to mask out screams and such from the security tapes without leaving any trace. You had to be alert all the time, masking the sounds as they came, leaving out the acceptable parts.

As the first session started I was calm again, this was an old fellow who had done this a hundred times. I didn't even need to listen to the feed to know when to hit the buttons, he was like clockwork, precise to the second. He was a boring case in their book. They never had tough cases in the morning, their screams could alert someone who passed the right place at the wrong time. Then it was time for the new one, and as I changed the feed cable from the security system to the one from the room of this appointment, I noticed a small piece of carpenter tape attached to it. Scrawled on it was "_She's silent. Makes Collins crazy. Doc sometimes."_ I knew it was about the new appointment, there is no one else having sessions in this room right now. But this was against company policy. We were not allowed to have any contact with anyone outside our own shift. I was however grateful for the warning, Collins did need A LOT of editing when he got agitated. And doc? I would have to wait and see. I was uneasy, there was something odd about the whole situation. They usually didn't shift an appointment just like that, when they shifted the night shift, they usually shifted the camera guy too.

The door opened and a nurse led in a young girl, I doubt she was older than fifteen. She wore the usual pajama-style clothes as all the patients, too loose in some places, too tight in others. I smiled a little, there was a garment that discriminated against no one, it it looked bad on them all. She seated herself at the end of the table, which was almost out of view. That's odd, they usually want a clear image for their later studies. I guess that's why what we do is so important, not only do we edit the security tapes that are a requirement from the board, but we also make raw-copies, unedited, for the doctors to study. I was a little surprised that she had walked into the room herself, but the sway had betrayed her as medicated into obedience, more surprising was the fact that the nurse did not strap her to the chair. It is a requirement in the interrogation, I mean appointment that the patients are securely tied to the chair, they tend to get violent. When Collins entered the room before the others I caught a glimpse of his face before he turned his back to the camera. There was pure glee, and also something else, I am not sure what, but I will try to find out. It made me very uneasy. As the first needle was placed, with the antidote for whatever sedative they had her on I suppose, and then the next, she didn't move a muscle though her face betrayed her disgust for every hole punched in her skin. Throughout the hour she was silent, sometimes her body would convulse from the pain I'm sure was inflicted on her, but not a single whimper passed her lips. Collins stayed quiet, very unlike him, until the very end. As he walked around her, where she had collapsed on the floor, he wheezed between his teeth.

"I hope you enjoyed this day off. I have warned you so many times now, Josie, that you better start giving me what I want, or I will claim it by force."

I saw her face, still in the same disgusted expression, drain from blood and there was fear in her eyes. I shuddered at the thought that this, one of the most unsettling sessions I had ever edited, was her day off. Next appointment was back with a regular, a lively one who kept me on my edge at all times, and for once I was grateful for it. I did not wish to think about what I had witnessed, and would witness until she was moved again or they decided that they could learn no more from her. Before going home I asked my superior for the girl's file so I could better prepare for what might come in the following days. He said it will be in my box by tomorrow morning.

I have never been more grateful to come home to my family than today, and the best medicine for the horror must have been watching Disney movies with Sol and Bell (Isolde, 12 and Isabelle, 7) after Ike (Isaac Gregorius, I tried to talk Helen out of it, I swear, 4) had fallen asleep. Sol usually refused to watch them, saying they are for babies, but tonight she rolled herself up in my lap and fell asleep there.

I write this because I haven't had a minutes sleep this night, and I am about to go to work for another day of first editing and then ordinary guarding of the minimum security ward.

**Day 2**

She is thirteen! Her nickname (which is all I am allowed to know due to confidentiality) is Josie, as I already know, and she's been here for over two years. In 'appointments'! I cannot believe it! The longest I have ever heard of before was a guy that literally climbed the walls when injected. They held him for six months. I still tried to wrap myself around these facts as I edited the first session. I wished it would never end, I did not want to see that girl, only a year older than my Sol, entering that room.

When I switched the feed cable I saw my hands shaking. The room came into view at the same time as she walked over to the chair and sat down. Collins was not far behind, and with him came one of the pediatricians from the local hospital (we used to take our kids there, NEVER AGAIN!). As the doc greeted Josie, a faint sparkle of hope lit her eyes, until his words made their way through the drug-daze.

"Good morning Josie. I've heard that you've not changed your behavior even though we changed the time to better suit you." The way he said 'suit you' made me cringe inside. I was fairly sure that whatever reason they had to move her, it was not to make things better for _her_. As he chose from the syringes, Collins stepped up to the girl and stretched out her arm. I have no idea what they injected her with this time, but from her chart I could read that her regular doses in 'appointment' was somewhere around the double they gave even the toughest adult patients. We had some of them here in the mornings when they were coming down from 'treatment', lots of the meds they use are highly addictive. I can't even imagine being addicted to something that causes you pain. After the indicated time that the drug would have taken effect and the girl still didn't move, Collins had her laid out on the table, she didn't move a muscle, only her eyes spoke. I noticed how neither the Doc nor Collins look at her face, but I did. I felt no need to see the perverted smile on Collins' face as he lifted the shirt of the pajamas and exposed her stomach. Unfortunately I had to, I needed to be ready when he started to speak.

"So, since you don't cooperate, we're back where we were a few weeks ago. Since you seem to enjoy it so much, the doc will join me today." He had such an evil glare in his eyes as he spoke, and then the doc came up behind him, holding two scalpels. I almost screamed out loud in disgust as they started to cut her. I could not see what they carved, I did not care. This was the most repulsing thing I had ever seen. I felt an enormous relief when I looked at her eyes only to see them vacant, she had mercifully enough fainted.

I was sick to my stomach when I got home, and went straight to bed. I couldn't look either my wife or my children in the eyes.

**Day 3**

Collins is sick, and all his 'appointments' are canceled. Well, he isn't really sick, one of the violent cases got out of hand and attacked him. Broke his bone. He will be gone for quite some time. They said that it's at least for two months. I feel very hopeful about Josie being transferred out of here before he's back. I am sure her state will improve greatly when she does not have to endure that anymore.

**Day 15**

Even though there aren't any more Josie 'appointments', I still keep this counting, because that is when my life changed. Collins was in today, on his way home from the hospital. He said that other wardens were to take over most of his 'appointments' but that there were a few that he would come in and supervise himself once a week. Josie was one of them, and I noticed how all the others were young females too.

**Day 22**

Mondays are officially the day he will come in. Is there a worse way to start off your week at work? I try to find peace in the fact that she has had over two weeks of peace and quiet. She has not improved at all. I have (against the policy) checked up on her during my slow 'appointments'. She just sits where they place her, eat what she's given and goes where they tell her. All in the dim state of drug-haze, no doubt. The only time I've seen her eyes alive was in the earlier sessions. I was steeling myself for this day's torment, but it never came. Collins kept quiet, letting the extra warden push the needles and just asking the questions. He tried to agitate her by foul language, but there was nothing that made this session different from all the others going on. Odd. Was he not fully confident with the extra warden there? She was able to walk out on her own today.

I tried to not shy away from my little girl's hugs and kisses when I got home, but I cannot help but wonder, does Josie have a family out there? Do they know what they are subjecting her to? Do they even care?

**Day 29**

Monday again. Doc's in the room with Collins, no extra warden today. They pushed so many needles in her, I was amazed that she didn't keel over. I knew from the med-list of her last session that they had tried out a new 'anti-faint' drug on her, that was why he was being so nice. The other guy wasn't one of the interrogation team, I mean wardens, he was with the med-staff. But still, the drugs alone should have put her under. Then Collins jumped up to her, on one foot, and started to hit her. I didn't understand that he had something over his knuckles until I saw big red flowers growing on the sleeves around her upper arms. I cannot make myself describe this any further. He eventually took off whatever he had on his hand and started going at her with the crutch. I feel sick even thinking about it.

Luckily my girls have gone to summer-camp. Helen was surprised when I allowed them to go, I can't tell her why. I can't even look at them without seeing Josie's young, innocent face in the horrible room.

**Day 36**

He is back. In a walking cast. He looked as mean as ever as he limped into the room after her, and I could for the first time define the emotion showing in his face, arousal. I was utterly disgusted by it. This day was no different than any other session she had ever had, I was sure of it, but I couldn't help getting sick when after the drugs, and beating, they took out the scalpels again. I could tell from what they said, that this was a last resort to try to get a response out of her. To my repulsion, Collins was however speaking of taking it to the next step. I shuddered with disgust at what that might be.

**Day 50**

No 'appointment' last week, thank goodness. This weekend was great, we visited the girls at camp and I could even play with them without any anxiety. Today was a note on the mixer-table, Collins' handwriting, saying they might need visual blockers. That means they are about to do things that cannot be shown on the tapes. In real life, it looks like snow. From what I had seen so far, I was getting physically sick from what they might do to the girl that could not be shown. She was lucky today though. As I plugged the feed, there was Collins already, stalking around the room. He was getting really frustrated as a nurse came in to tell him that Josie was one of the many patients that had caught the stomach flu. She was currently puking her guts out. The words he let out once the doors were closed needed heavy editing.

**Day 57**

Same note on my desk this morning. But the maybe was crossed out. I did something very bad. I linked the feed to the raw-copy VCR further, to the next one too. I have to make sure this comes to an end and I have an idea.

They cut her again. They did words this time. They told her what words they carved. I had to go throw up. I am happy my children are far from this place. I told Helen I was sick. I'm staying at Zach's place. He never asks any questions. The playstation games are great for relieving pressure, and to forget the day.

**Day 59**

I left a note on one of the other guy's feed cables. I might get hell for it, but I need to know if he feels the same. He has two of the other girls Collins comes in to see on his watch. I will see what tomorrow brings.

**Day 60**

No answer

**Day 64**

Same note. The words they are cutting are getting worse. I was able to keep from throwing up, mainly because I suspected this and didn't eat any breakfast. Helen wonders when I'm coming home. I told her soon. The tape I made today will not be enough, but maybe if the other guy comes through, at least he hasn't told on me.

**Day 63**

There was no written answer today either, but the VCR was still on, and there was a tape in it. I watched it with growing horror in the empty hour between 'appointments'. Josie was apparently still getting the mild treatment. These girls were older, but it didn't matter, this was just wrong. Horribly, disgustingly wrong. I will never trust a doctor to be alone with my children again.

**Day 81**

Collins' note was there. I didn't care. Today would be the last time. I was almost too late. They stopped carving her after half the session, saying how it didn't have any effect. Then they started touching her. I forced myself to watch. This was my fault. If I had gone to the police earlier, this would never have happened. She was still dressed (thank God) when they stopped. Collins' last words echoed in the empty room.

"So, Josie dear, next time we'll have some _real_ fun. I'm sure you'll respond to that, you seem like a naughty little girl." I had to fight my hardest to not turn off the feed, Lucky at that, since doc suddenly spoke.

"Oh, yes. I've been waiting years for this."

I was shaking as I took out the copies of the tapes. I will have to put both 'my' two earlier sessions and the other guard's tape together in one. I'll do that tomorrow in my free hour, and if that's not enough, then there's still the rest of the week.

**Day 82**

I got half of the tape-work done before I had to mind my monitors and gadgets again.

**Day 83**

The tape is done. I destroyed the others, along with the 'study-tapes' the docs had left out to be taken care of. They didn't like to do any dirty work. Correction. That is the wrong way of phrasing it. What they do in 'appointments' is as dirty as anything can ever get.

As soon as this mess is solved I'm applying for a new job. I can't do it before, then they will know it was me who told. That's why I needed the other tapes.

**Day 85**

I have gotten a very good job offer in another part of the hospital. It is from an internal positioning squad, recruiting qualified personnel for special tasks. I needn't worry this time. It's for the 'luxury' ward, you know, celebrities and such. I was asked to recommend one other guy. I am thinking of putting up Greg (I found out the name of the other guard helping me) and since the bosses all know this, it won't be considered as suspicious.

I've tried to write a note to the police, telling them where all these pictures are taken, where the video is from (I found a pack of pictures of several teenagers being abused in the 'burn bin') but to try to tell about it just makes me sick.

I have decided to send this diary along. It tells everything that the tapes don't.

Thank you for this time, diary. I am ascertained I wold not have made it without you as a vent.

–

The young police officer had looked increasingly nauseated as he read, and as he turned over the last page and came face to face with the photographs, he had to run to the bathroom. He was slightly green when he returned. He picked up the stack of papers without casting one more glance at the young girls caught on film, and shoved it all into the original envelope. He staggered through the corridors until he reached the room of his superior. He said nothing, just placed the stack of paper in front of him, displayed the pictures and took the tape and popped it into the VCR in the corner. When he was done, he turned to his boss, speaking for the first time.

"You need to see this. We need to do something about this. That smallest girl, she was my sister's classmate all through school until she disappeared a few years ago. Her name is Josephine Ericsson."

"THE Ericsson's?"

"Yes, the Ericsson's... can I leave? I think I need to go throw up again..." and with those last words he once more ran down the corridors towards the restrooms.

**Epilogue:**

Hank and Greg both moved to the luxury ward, and no one ever suspected them when the police struck at the mental institution during the evening appointments, just a few days after the stack of diary entries had come to their attention. The ward was immediately closed down and the patients transferred elsewhere, some for continued treatment, others for rehabilitation.

Hank later got an offer from the Salt Lake City International Airport, which he accepted, happy to leave the hospital and its gloomy memories behind. He finally told Helen what he had gone through, after the trial was done. They had a rough couple of months but found the way back to each other in the end.

Greg left the luxury ward a few months after Hank, starting college again, to finally finish his degree and in the end became a very popular teacher at a school for troublesome kids. More than once did he recognize clients from the appointments he had been observing years back, amongst the students, and without telling them why, he always gave them more of his time than was the norm. He married the counselor he had been seeing for his nightmares, and together they have two small boys.

The doctors who had been the root of it all were charged with criminal charges and convicted to life in prison.

Hank kept a close eye in the newspapers, knowing that 'Josie' was of a high society family. He was a bit taken aback by her early marriage, and not very surprised when it ended a few years later. He was much more surprised as he read about her new engagement, but since there was nothing more than an ad, he gathered that she had done this by her own will, and not her family's. At her sister's engagement party a few weeks later, she was caught on camera with a native boy who towered protectively over her, and Hank felt in his heart that she was safe. His heart sang with joy as he read about the babies' birth, he was relieved to see her face lit up by pure happiness as she and her fiancée held a twin each. Hank then stopped looking for her name in the paper, content in the fact that he had been able to save her in time.

About a year after the twins' birth had been proclaimed, he stumbled across the names of all the doctors in an article about slaughter at a local prison. He shuddered at the description of how they had been massacred, throats slit open, bones broken, and completely drained of blood by the hundreds of gashes spread over their bodies. The police could never find out who the murderer was, and their only lead was a heavenly beautiful blond who had come to visit a relative, but then never arrived at the meeting room. The day after they found her in a cleaning cabin, hiding. She claimed to have gotten lost and then been scared senseless when the alarm went off. The police did not quite believe her as she seemed too composed to have been terrified just a few hours back, but since she was a slim woman, with no visible trace of muscles, and not a drop of blood on her clothes, they released her. Later it turned out she had entered under a false name, and the slaughter of the doctors to this day remains a mystery.

--

**AN:** You still there? What did you think? Let me know.


	4. first time S&P MS

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, all things smutty belong to me =)

**beta:** Lacrema  
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**First time**

**Phin**

His hands were burning through my camisole as we slowly danced. I loved how close our bodies were; I could feel how his hard muscles moved against my softer frame. I thought about the coincidence that the song I wanted to dance to was the one to be next on the radio. His moves were a bit tense, but then again, he had told me he was no dancer.

I snuggled my face as close to his chest as I dared, and he didn't seem to mind, so I rested my head against him. I sang along to the music without even thinking. After my lost years, this was the first song I heard. It was really popular back then, and it quickly turned into my favorite song ever.

I hoped that he wouldn't be able to feel how hard my heart was beating. I was at the edge of acceptable behavior as it was, playing with his neck hair and all. But there was no way I could ignore the tingle that crashed through my body. All I could think about was feeling those hard muscles without a shirt in between us and the sensation of his hands against my bare skin. I tried my best to not rub myself against him, but it was really hard-- all I wanted was to be even closer to him.

I was disappointed when the song ended, I didn't want to let go of him. He was so warm, and with this night as a peculiar exception, I was always freezing. I managed to convince myself to let go, but he looked so disappointed that I figured he had to feel somewhat the same. I felt a silly grin explode over my face and completely without thinking I reached up, as far as I could, and kissed him quickly just above his jaw line.

_Oh my god, what did I do that for? Jeez, I mean, come on, where do I go from here..._

I felt my cheeks, and even ears, burning, probably redder than a tomato. Before he could catch me I blurted out something about the bathroom and ran...

_Very mature, missy... What do you intend to do when you get back out there?_

In the bathroom I seated myself on the toilet lid, placing my head between my knees once again, and tried to calm my racing heart. I decided to make my lie a truth, and when I was done, I discarded the pantyhose I had been wearing under the cargo pants, all trying to prevent me from freezing, and also my faded underwear. Luckily, I had some better-looking ones in the clean laundry by the machine. I felt really silly as I pulled them on, it wasn't like he would be interested in me that way, anyway. I had probably scared him off already, being all pushy like that. I took a deep breath before I opened the door and then I stood in the kitchen for a minute, listening, trying to figure out if he was still there.

When I heard the sofa squeal, a smirk pulled at the left corner of my mouth. So, he was still here, and from where he was seated, he wouldn't be going anywhere soon. I tried to not jump him as I entered the room. He looked absolutely smoking hot where he was, sunk down into the couch. I forced myself to walk slowly, no scaring him off now. I couldn't help the smug expression from spreading to my entire face as he looked up at me when I seated myself on the low coffee table inches away from his knees. He looked a little puzzled, and his husky voice was curious when he spoke.

"What's so funny? Did I spill food on me?" I giggled a little, he had been too cautious while eating everything to let anything spill, going so far as to even lick some of the bowls.

"Eum, just... how do you intend to get out of there?"

He grumbled something, but I was caught up in the way the muscles on his arms flexed as he reached forward. A flash of heat raged through me as his hand grabbed mine and slowly, gently, pulled me a little. It was so soft that I never lost my balance, but still, I leaned myself down, to rest my arms on his legs. His hand was still enveloping mine and it made my skin burn just to touch him, not just because of the insane heat his skin radiated. I looked him in the eyes, and noticed how they dropped, snapped up, and dropped again... I tried to stifle the giggle, but it was impossible. It felt so ridiculously good that he looked at them, and from his expression, liked what he looked at.

"You're just a big tease. You know that, right?" his words caught me by surprise and I couldn't find my words. Still giggling a little, I nodded. I had never teased someone before, not intentionally at least, and it felt good. Felt... sexy...

"Oh, just get over here!" He leaned forward and picked me up as if I was light as a feather, to place me on the top of his knees. I felt my lower regions throb like crazy in reaction to feeling the warmth his body emitted. I saw him ogling my breasts again, and it shot trembles of pleasure through my body. I felt pretty sure he wouldn't mind kissing me. At least, I hoped not, because at that precise moment, I wanted nothing more than his lips against mine, to know if they would have the same effect on me as the rest of his body did.

I lost myself completely as our lips met. I was on fire, I was blown away, I was tumbling around in an ocean of emotion, and the only thing keeping me grounded was the magnetic force of his lips nibbling mine... I felt a gush of his breath against my lips as he slowly, deeply, murmured something at the back of his throat. It sounded almost like he was moaning.

"What did you say?" I was almost embarrassed by how hoarse my whisper against his lips was.

"Um, Red?" Oh, sweet heavens, could a voice be more sexy? I slid my hands up his neck, marveling at the hardness of those muscles under his skin.

"Why, what does it mean?" Not that I really cared, I just wanted to hear more of that voice. My fingers twisted in his hair, yanking it a little. I could feel his body respond to every move I made. My hair had fallen over my shoulders, and I hoped it didn't bother him. My hair had a tendency to get in the way all the time.

"You." His words were more of an exhale than anything else.

"So, I'm Red?" I stopped breathing, waiting for his answer, when I felt his hands gently starting to slide up and down my back, one of them even squeezing my butt.

"Yeah." Once again, his voice was more of a moan, and I felt him buck his hips ever so slightly.

"If you're calling me by my hair color, then I'm calling you Fluff..." I pulled his hair a little, snickering to myself over my wits as I nibbled his lips. Oh, they tasted so good. I let my tongue trace his lips, still nibbling them in between, as I slid down the slope of his legs toward his chest.

His arms suddenly grabbed my waist, pushing me just a little away, but not before I could feel the reason for it against my inner thigh. I felt a smoldering fire starting to burn where it had touched me, spreading slowly, making my whole body yearn to feel it again. I left his hair alone, to caress my way down his arms and chest. I stealthily tugged what was left of the shirt out of his pants and finally put my hands on the soft skin over those solid stomach muscles. I felt his whole body grow rigid, but let my hands continue exploring the wonders they experienced under his shirt.

"Red..." I smiled at the nickname he had given me, playing with my tongue over his lips as he spoke.

"Yes, Fluff?" I felt like being the tease now, and I let my hands ravish his nonexistent love-handles.

"Please stop." His words were a total contradiction to what his body was saying underneath me.

"Why?" I started caressing my way up to his chest, until I thought I might expire from the way my lower regions were burning.

"I... because..." He sounded so sweet, unable to find his words. Still, the huskiness of his voice was still there, and it turned me on even more.

"Verbal much?" I tried to lighten the mood, tried everything to stall him from removing me from his hot embrace.

"Red... please..." As he pleaded with me, I gave in. I stretched out, placing my hands behind me on his knees to keep my balance. I noticed how he once again almost drooled over my breasts, and still, I didn't mind. Not at all. As a matter of fact, I was secretly yearning for him to touch them, to let his sweet, soft, burning lips fondle my nipples.

I wanted it, now. I didn't think as I spoke.

"So, you wanted me to stop so that you could look at my boobs, instead? Fine." My hands were already at the hem of the camisole, lifting it slowly when his hands stopped me. Bummer!

"No, it's not like that. We can't continue this." I leaned forward, hearing him gasping for air as my boobs brushed underneath his cheek as I leaned in to kiss his forehead. When I sat back down, I was way closer to him, right on top of his arousal. The fire turned into a supernova of heat, I wanted him so badly.

"How come?" Why did he say he didn't want this, when he obviously did? Was he one of those who didn't believe in sex before marriage? Of all the men in the world, I had to drag home a monk. OK, so I hadn't had it before my wedding night, but I was only 17, and had been betrothed to Rhyus as long as I could remember.

"Eh... I.. donhaveanycondoms'kay."

I was dumbstruck."Oh." I tried to find my words, but failed miserably. "Well, that doesn't really matter now, does it?" I didn't mean to, but I heard how hurt my voice was. Why didn't he have any? I mean, he didn't think a girl would have sex with him without one, did he? No, if he did, he probably wouldn't have mentioned it. Did he use it as a get-away excuse? I jerked upright and swung my leg behind me, over his knees, then stalked around the bookshelf to the bedroom of the apartment.

Of course, the condom pack I had wasn't where I thought it was. I muttered curses under my breath as I searched the drawer of the bedside table once more. Where the devil could they be? Then it struck me, like lightning. They were in the bookshelf, on the other side. Great. Now what? How would I explain my storming away? Absentmindedly I picked up a rubber band, gathered my hair behind me and started braiding it as I walked back. He looked up at me, then looked down for a second. I took the opportunity to snatch the condom-pack from the shelf and place it under the waistline of the back of my pants. When his eyes returned to me, I was once again braiding with both hands.

As I brought the hair over my shoulder to a more comfortable braiding position, I noticed that he had managed to get himself halfway out of the couch, but had not quite yet escaped its treacherous grip. I smiled as his eyes still lingered on my breasts, where they had settled as I braided.

"Impressive. I usually have to roll down on the floor to get out of it." I slid my feet towards him over the floor, and he looked immensely happy. As I sat down on his knees again, facing away from him this time, I threw the package I had retrieved from my pants over my shoulder. I heard it land on his stomach seconds before his heated hands grabbed my upper arms and pulled me down. I was lying across his legs, my head resting against his chest.

"You just don't give up, do you?" He kissed the top of my head as his eyes once again trailed down the front of my camisole. In an instant I was hot again, especially as I felt something throbbing between my shoulder blades, which were right over his groin.

"Girls who give up don't get what they want!" I was surprised at the purr that came out of me, I didn't believe my vocal cords were able to produce such a sound. Then I spun around to nibble his ear before I slid down a little to kiss his lips softly and then snuggle my face into his chest.

I felt him suck in air heavily when my breasts stroked against his stiffness, as I rubbed my nose in his shirt. He smelled so delicious! I couldn't pick out what it was that was driving me wild, but it wasn't any artificial fragrance, of that I was sure. Most perfumes trying to replicate this sexy scent just smelled like sleaze to me, and I was happy he didn't reek of aftershave like most guys my age did, whether they shaved or not.

I bit the third button from the top of his shirt, the first one that was buttoned, and tried to open it with my mouth. His hands finally seemed to come alive, stroking the part of my back where the camisole had ridden up. Tingles spread throughout my body, originating at his fingertips. As the button resisted my attempts to open it gently, I grabbed around it with my teeth and yanked my head back. He looked at me with a confused expression, only to burst out in laughter as I spat out the button on his now more-exposed chest.

"Seriously, Red? You could use your hands instead of ruining my best shirt..." He wasn't angry with me. I could hear in his voice that he rather enjoyed it.

"No, I can't." I slid my hands around to his back, slowly, slowly tracing my hands along the muscles and then lower, lower... "You see, my hands are quite occupied." I flashed a smile that I hoped was at least a little bit sexy at him as I reached his butt, then squeezed a little, just like he had done to mine earlier.

"Is that so?" His voice got huskier with every syllable he uttered, and his hands were creeping higher up on my back, following some of the scrambled scars there. I slowly slid down to the side of his legs, my body very displeased to be robbed of the contact it so desperately wanted. I got to my feet and leaned over to the light, turning it off. No need to show the neighbors what was going on; we were right under the window, after all. Oh, who am I kidding? I didn't want him seeing the tattoo, that wasn't a discussion I wanted to have tonight.

As I stood before him, I kicked my socks off, then dropped to a squat, removing first one of his shoes, and then the other. He squirmed under my touch as I tried to remove his socks, too.

"No, please!" He was squealing like a girl. "It tickles, please, stop!" I couldn't help but laughing at him, and snuggled up next to him in the couch instead, nibbling at his ear. He leaned over on the armrest, and just as I hoped, pulled me along. When he swung his legs over the armrest on the other side, my feet could reach his as I laid on my back on top of him, and with my feet I removed his socks. I felt a deep smoldering burn deep in the pit of my stomach, not really connected to the physical part of what was going on, but rather as a reaction to his manners, his laughter, his words that touched me deeply, common as they were.

"Wow..." His slow, moaning exclamation was unexpected.

"What?" I whispered slowly as I crawled higher up on his body, closer to his burning lips and turned around so that I was facing him.

"That... that was so... Ugh, you're going to think I'm a perv or something." Embarrassment coated his stuttering voice. The imperfection in no way diminished the appeal of his voice.

"Try me, I might like the kind of perv you are..." I picked at the next closed button absentmindedly, and when it opened, continued with the next one.

"That felt... like... it was sexy..." He turned his face away from me, but I didn't reach for it. Instead I stretched out one leg so much that I caught the edge of his pants and started stroking the bare skin underneath with my naked foot. "You really don't think that's weird?" his voice was full of surprise.

"Since just about every part of your naked skin I have touched so far has set me on fire, it's only fair if some part of me affects you in a similar way." I couldn't open the last button, so I leaned down, once more grabbing with my teeth and yanking it free.

He pulled me up, laying me so that our lips were at the same height, and as he slowly began to nibble and suck on my lower lip, he lifted my camisole, pulling it up to my bra. We laid naked stomach to naked chest, and he continued teasing my lips as he spoke.

"Every part of you, naked or not, makes my entire existence burn." I slowly sat up a little, resting my hands on his sculptured chest for support, one leg on each side of him, straddling his stomach in the narrow sofa. His hands moved around from my back and slowly crept up towards their target. I wanted to tell him to hurry up, but at the same time, I never wanted this moment to end. Just below my bra he stopped, fingering the fabric, waiting.

I was done waiting. I eased myself back, and as I placed myself over his burning stiffness, my breasts fell into his hands. I could feel his reaction very clearly, and rubbed myself against it a little. Gently and tenderly, he began to explore the objects of his desire. I couldn't help but let out a pleasure-filled breath as his thumbs stroked my nipples through the layers of fabric.

One of his hands wandered around to my back, finding the clasp. Then he paused, looking up at me questioningly. "May I?"

I smiled widely at him, "On one condition..." I tried to sound alluring.

"And what might that be?" His thumb stroked my nipple again and I couldn't help another loud gush of air escaping me. He smiled smugly and then teased me even more by lifting his hips, rubbing himself against me. I had no coherent thoughts in my head, all I could think about was how to get him out of those clothes, preferably five minutes ago. That set me back to what I had intended to say.

"You remove one thing from me, I remove one thing from you." And I knew exactly where to start.

"You took off my socks already." He lifted his eyebrow, winking at me.

"I removed my own as well..." I leaned down and kissed the spot where his collarbone joined his neck. I felt his fingers struggle with the clasp, and suddenly it snapped open.

"You win. What's your choice for removal, ma'am?" For the first time, that word didn't make me feel like an old lady. His deep, seductive voice made it seem like the sexiest thing you could call a girl. I slid down to the floor again, and he rolled out of the sofa to sit beside me. I looked at him, trying to decide between the shirt or the jeans. Somehow I knew better than to look into his eyes, as they were still reflecting the faint light from outside. If I did, I wasn't sure I would ever be able to look away, touch! -Tosalongo 4/17/09 8:05 PM

He reached out and started pulling the bra strap off of my shoulder. When it reached my elbow, he grabbed my arm with the other hand and lifted it out of the loop. Then he repeated the procedure on the other side. I felt a shiver run down my spine. No one had undressed me before, ever. He looked me in the eyes as he gently trailed his fingers from my elbows up my arms to my neck. From there, he let them slide down, slowly caressing the curve of my breasts, and with small movements tugged my bra away. I felt my nipples stiffen the second the chill air touched them, and they were almost painfully hard as he touched them, sending quivers of pleasure throughout my body. His scalding hot fingers were careful as they moved under the silky fabric of the camisole, and they seemed to be trembling just ever so slightly, as if he were nervous. As a result of the shakes, my nipples stiffened even more, and I was seconds away from begging him to take them in his mouth, to have his hot lips on them, his burning tongue...

His breaths was strained, and so was mine. I searched his face with my lips until they found his, and then we were panting together, stealing kisses as soon as we had enough air. He continued to rub my breast in small circles as I unbuckled his belt and then started fighting the button of his jeans. I noticed how he gathered more air, as if to speak.

"Please, if it won't budge... no teeth..." I couldn't help but laugh, a feeling of joy filling me. I loved how he was able to keep his sense of humor in a situation like this. "And by the way, before my socks, you removed my shoes..."

"I removed my pantyhose..." Why did I say that? He didn't need to know that. His left hand left my chest and traveled down to my hip, slowly slipping inside the waistline of my pants.

"No pantyhose, but pants still on... What you did before doesn't count... Pants off, Red." His voice was enticing and teasing at the same time. I bit his lip as hard as I dared.

"Nu-uh. Not until yours are off, a deal is a deal." I finally was able to persuade the stubborn metallic button to yield to me, only to realize there was no zipper, only more buttons. I growled, and for some reason it made him chuckle contently. I frowned and pushed him away from me, playfully. He had the biggest grin I had ever seen on a human being splashed across his face. He leaned back on his hands where he was sitting, legs folded in front of himself. There wasn't much light in the room, but as before, the light that did shine in was enough to make me marvel over his beauty. The pose, combined with the open shirt and unbuttoned jeans, made him look like a model. I wished I had a camera so I could remember his beauty forever and ever. I swooned over the sight for a moment before throwing myself at him, knocking him over.

His booming laughter made me laugh with him as I once more struggled with those damn buttons. Whoever constructed these jeans must have been in league with the dark lord himself. I leaned down to try to see if I was doing something wrong, and he stopped me, straightening me out as if I gave no more resistance then a Barbie doll.

"I told you, no teeth!" He trailed his hands all over my backside, making me shiver with pleasure once again. "You cold?" his voice was suddenly filled with concern.

I tried to sound sexy when I answered, not really sure of why I wanted to sound that way. "How could a girl possibly be cold, tumbling on the floor with something as hot as you, Fluff?" I winked at him, and then sighed to myself. It was almost pitch-black in his shadow where I lay, there was no way he would have seen that.

"I'm sorry if my temperature bothers you." He sounded... sad? Without seeing his facial expression the emotion was hard to discern. I touched his face softly with my hand, and then began stroking his silky soft hair. My heart was breaking for the sad tone in his voice. Ugh. I was getting in way too deep. _I should not be falling for a guy who will probably be gone in the morning._

"No way. You're just perfect for an ice-cube like me. I constantly freeze. See?" I shoved one of my bare feet up the leg of his pants, touching the scalding hot skin there. He flinched back, as I had known he would. My cold feet actually never bothered me, but that didn't mean I didn't know they were colder than a penguin's toes. "We are a match made in heaven. You: fire. Me: ice in need of thawing...."

The low rumble of his murmur almost escaped me. "I like a match made in heaven. It means you're my personal angel, Red." I wanted to be his, I wanted it will all my heart.

I was now tugging at his shirt, since he still held me in a tight grip against his body, giving me no chance to fight that last stubborn button in his jeans. He didn't seem to feel what I was doing, so I pulled a little harder. The shirt was tight enough that he would need to shrug out of it. Then there was a ripping sound, followed by his booming laughter. He shrugged and I pulled, and in the end there was more tearing and the shirt was no more.

I was suddenly displeased with myself for turning of the lights, I couldn't really see him, and I wanted to, badly. Then I felt his fingers at my shoulder, gently pulling down the strap of the camisole. I slapped his hand and reached after his lips, unable to resist them anymore.

"What was that for? A shirt for a shirt!" His deep, husky voice was filled with anticipation, like he was waiting for my next move.

"It's so much easier if you just lift it over my head." I giggled as he started to lift the thin fabric. Then he stopped and got to his feet, pulling me along. He took a step towards the stereo and raised the volume a bit; it had only been a soft murmur in the background before. Then he reached for my top again and in one swift move he yanked it over my head and tossed it over his shoulder. He leaned down over me, letting his warm lips flutter over my naked shoulder. He let out a small moan and sighed before speaking.

"Red? Didn't I say pants off?" His hands continued from my arms where they were resting down to the hem off my pants. Now he was the one struggling with unwilling buttons. He was a lot swifter than I had been, and since I only had a zipper, my pants laid in a heap around my feet in mere seconds. I stepped out of them and grabbed the front pockets of his jeans, pulling him closer to me again. I nibbled his neck while he bent over me, kissing my shoulder.

"A little help, please? There is something obstructing my mission to remove yours." I let my thumb stroke over the 'something' in question and I felt him going rigid against me. He was breathing very unevenly as he let go of my body to wriggle his way out of the jeans. When he was almost free of them, I threw myself at him again. I needed to feel my naked skin against his. Apparently I caught him off guard, and we tumbled down into the couch once more.

I felt him kicking the pants off his feet and then he wrapped his hot legs around me. "Gotcha. Now you're all mine, and I'll never let you go."

My heart soared as he said those words, and my skin was on fire from touching him so much. I hugged him as tightly as I could-- my arms only reached halfway around his muscular chest. "Ditto, Fluff. Ditto!"

Suddenly everything was still, and we laid, almost naked in a tussled up heap on my sofa, just looking at each other. I was still caught between his muscular legs, but I didn't mind. The faint light from the starry night gleamed on his perfectly molded chest. It deepened the color to a teak and I traced the shadows of the starlight across his muscles.

He shivered and pulled me up, towards his face. He looked at me closely, seemingly searching for something. "Are you really, really sure about this, Red?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Fluff, if I weren't sure, I don't think I would have ripped you shirt to pieces or fought the buttons of your pants. You sure you want this?" I looked at him, and the thought that he suddenly looked very young crossed my mind. He looked almost scared. I smiled at him, trying to convey in that unsatisfying expression all my burning love-- Love?.. Love!-- and also a security I wasn't as sure that I felt. Still that little piece of me was afraid of rejection.

"Never wanted something, or someone for that matter, more in my entire life!" His lips were gentle against mine this time, more loving than passionate. I felt that little bit of doubt leave me, as his tenderness melted my last defenses. It was a soft move, and when he sat up, I mimicked his moves to stay attached to him. He got to his feet gracefully, even though he was forced to pull my weight too, and I fleetingly wondered how he had broken the physical law of my couch.

He lifted me up and cradled me in his arms, then walked around the bookshelf. As he laid us both down in the middle of my standard size bed, I jumped out of his arms and skidded around back to the sofa, scavenging around in the scraps of our clothing until I found that precious condom pack. I carried it in my teeth as I walked back to him, where he laid on his back, taking up the entire bed, arms spread out and waiting for me.

"Oh, sorry, I totally forgot." He looked sheepish and I winked at him as I wiggled the pack in my mouth, trying to make him laugh that addictive, joy-filled laughter again.

When I crawled up next to him, everything happened so fast that I was unsure how he removed my panties, and I had no more than a hunch that I had torn his boxers to pieces as well. He was fiddling with the condom, and suddenly there was a snap and a yelp.

"What happened?" I sat up and grabbed his arm, worried he had hurt himself somehow.

He turned from me as he sat on his knees, head hanging. "I... I broke it." So that was the snap. But what about that yelp?

"Did you get hurt?"

He looked at me and I could see embarrassment in his eyes. "You're not mad?" Once again he looked so very young, so innocent, it was breaking my heart. Even if had been the last one there was no possibility I could have been angry with him.

"There are four more in the pack. I don't think we'll need them all tonight, do you?"

"But I... I was... clumsy..." He looked so much like a sad puppy that my heart was melting more and more with every second that passed. This huge, gorgeous man, so vulnerable and fragile. That contradiction intrigued me way more than his muscles ever could. And that was saying something.

"And I'm not? Come on Fluff, we all are entitled to clumsy moments. You sure you didn't hurt yourself?" I got to my knees and reached up to stroke his cheek, pulling his lips my way. I made sure to just be sweet and loving when I kissed them, letting him know it wasn't just about the sex for me, either. I stroked his back with my free hand, comforting him.

"I think the only thing that got hurt was my self-esteem. Beaten by a rubber." He tried to laugh, but it came out more as a cough, and though I thought it was hilarious, the way he said it, I bit my tongue and kept quiet. His already beaten ego didn't need more punches.

I trailed my fingers down his neck and pressed myself a little closer to him. "Not that it's any of my business," I reached over to where his arms touched his thigh and started trailing up it slowly, "but if you need assistance, I'm always willing."

His arms were suddenly around me, crushing me as he returned my kiss. I was panting by the time he relaxed his grip a little, speaking softly in my ear. "Maybe you better... assist... we wouldn't wanna break too many of those little lifesavers now, would we?"

I could hear how the laughter and confidence had returned to his voice, and this time his laughter came out as it should, and I dared giggle a little. I returned to my previous destination, traveling up his inner thigh, my pulse so loud in my ears I would have missed a cannon going off. When I touched _him_, I almost jumped out of the bed.

"What's wrong?" His voice was strained with worry, his hands stroking my back soothingly.

"No-nothing... it's just..." _It's just that you are so freaking BIG! I didn't think they even came in this size! My fingers can hardly reach around it, for crying out loud. How will that ever fit inside me?_ "Just a twitch, it happens sometimes. Don't worry about it." _Liar!_ Well, not completely, I did twitch from time to time, especially if I was tired. Though, tonight I was all but tired.

I felt the tingle return as I carefully rolled the rubber into place, while emotions were rummaging around inside my head. It was a snug fit; no wonder he had broken the first one with his huge fingers... His fingers... The thought of them made a shiver go from my head down to my toes.

His hands were following my movements, and when I was done, they held my hands there for a moment longer. "If there was only a way for me to show you how marvelous that feels." His voice was dreamy against my head, and I could feel his hot breath against my scalp.

"I think I might have a clue..." I squeezed his manhood and noticed that it had increased even more in size. He slid his arms down my sides and scooped his hands around my butt, lifting me up to eye level. Those gorgeous eyes. I got lost in them, drowning in deep, brown velvet. I would have been lost forever if his husky voice hadn't called me back to the reality.

"You really, really sure?" I looked him straight in the eyes and closed my eyes so they wouldn't betray my anxiety as I nodded, easing down onto him as he slowly lowered me. At first there was some resistance, and I held myself tight to his chest, comforted by the scent that was his and his alone.

He stopped, holding me in the air with one hand as he gently caressed my cheek with the other. "I would never hurt you."

His hand trailed back down, and as it passed my breast, it paused to rub my nipple, making me shiver from pleasure. The shiver made me sink a little deeper, and suddenly I got the feeling that this might work. I tried to find the words to tell him, but he hushed me and continued trailing his hand down to where our bodies met again.

The air in the room was a bit chilly, the way I liked it, and it made the contrast of his burning fingers against my wetness all the more prominent. He was gentle, trembling, searching, taking his time. He asked no question, but reacted to every whimper I made.

When I threw my head back, trying to find the air that was escaping me, he rubbed my tender spot even more intently, and as I moaned out loud for the first time ever, he finally let go of his hold, letting me slide down until I was firmly sitting on top of him. I was filled with heat, I could feel every inch of him, just as hot as his hands on my skin. There was nothing uncomfortable about it, the size was a perfect fit. My heart filled with joy, and I looked into his eyes once more, hiding nothing this time. I was rewarded as little sparks lit up in the corners of his eyes. Only then did it occur to me he had worried just as much as me, and it made me feel even more fondly about him. His eyes were big, pupils so dilated they were almost black, and he did not leave my gaze as he moved his hand on my back up to twist in my braided hair.

I pushed his hand away as the little nub got oversensitive, and started rocking slowly. Now it was his turn to throw his head back, gasping for air, and my turn to hold him steady. He leaned back on his hands, causing his hips to buck up even more. I rocked faster, and saw how he struggled to keep his mouth closed. I stopped and leaned closer to him, making sure my boobs touched him as much as possible, because the sensation of his hot skin against them was unbelievable. It made my insides twist around themselves out of pleasure.

"You don't have to be quiet, there's no one around to hear you howl." I said the words with a laugh.

He looked at me with that silly grin again."What if I do just that? Howl?"

I shrugged."So? We can't all call out the name of our favorite ballplayer..." I winked at him, and received a kiss as a price.

He straightened up and kissed me properly, latching my legs behind his back. "Can you hold on tight?" _To you? I'll hold so tight you'll never get me off of you..._

I nodded, and tried to press myself to him even harder. He slowly rose up, and then laid down on top of me. "You OK? I'm not crushing you or anything?"

Again, all I could do was nod. I was so close to peaking again, I was afraid I'd blow if I so much as moved an inch. To my surprise, he didn't move. At all. He just kept his weight off of me, looking at me. I was starting to wonder why, had I done something wrong? That little piece of doubt was increasing in size again.

I felt a crease form in between my eyes, and instantly he leaned over on one hand, using the free one to smooth it out. "Don't think so much, I just want to look at you. You're so beautiful, Red. You really are."

Wow. What do you say to that? Shut up and fuck me, already? I mentally slapped my fingers for using such crude words in such a tender moment."Fluff... I'll still be beautiful in the morning..." I was a bit disappointed in myself for being ruled so fully by my body's desire, but there was really nothing else I could do to help myself. I started to move myself against him, and he lowered his body so our chests touched, breathing heavily into my hair as he answered my motions. He was being very gentle, almost soft in his touches, and I buried my hands in his hair."Just so you know, I don't mind playing rough."

He answered with a bark-like laugh and then teased me by playfully nipping my ear."Patience, Red, patience. I wouldn't wanna break you by coming on too hard."

He emphasized his words with a hard thrust, and I couldn't keep back another moan as it pushed me that much closer to the top. "You really liked that?" He sounded incredulous, and then let out a bark-like laugh that sounded very pleased.

When I tilted my head forward, biting my lips to not shout out loud, he gave me what I asked for. I moved with him, digging my fingers into his butt, pressing him deeper inside me, driving my sensitive spots crazy, until a heatwave came crashing through me, leaving me weak and shivering. I felt like my heart was embedded in the hot cotton, cozying down like I did in my duvet on a freezing winter day.

It felt safe, and for the first time the lyrics from an old song made sense to me. _It's always better when you're with the one you love._ I loved him. There was no doubt. I hadn't even known him for a day, but I really did love him.

I could still feel myself cramping around him as he started shaking uncontrollably. My eyes must have been dizzy from the powerful outburst, because it was as if his contours were softening, widening, shifting back and forward. It almost seemed like his skin was shifting colors, from deep russet to a lighter, more sandy shade, but that just had to be the shadows cast by the starlight, playing through the bookshelf. I reached up and placed a kiss in the middle of his chest, the movement making my insides cramp around him even more. After a few more hard thrusts, he let out a piercing howl.

_Holy cow, he actually howled! _I liked it. It gave resonance somewhere deep inside me, like when a cat purrs in your lap and it makes you feel good.

The shaking subsided to a shiver as he sunk down on me, panting as if he had run a 10-mile race. I was completely comfortable being covered by his burning body. It felt safe, felt like home. Even though he was so much bigger than me, the weight of his body crushing me into the mattress didn't bother me one bit. He groaned as he eased himself off of me, disposed of the used rubber, and folded me into a ball before cradling me in his arms, whispering sweet words in my ear as I drifted away, trying unsuccessfully to resist sleep. Never ever in my life had I felt more loved than in that moment.

--

**AN:** This have been in progress since January... It originally started with Seth's PoV, which later turned into chapter 4 of "RED". I hope you enjoyed it, that it was worth the time it took to get out of my head.


	5. naughty board game N&J MS

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest are just my dilutions of what her characters do in their free time. I hope you enjoy this one.

**beta: Animegaijingirl  
-**

_Nessie fiddled with a switch of some sort, and then with a little persuasion the whole top of the board moved a few inches in it's frame, knocking over our figurines in the process. I could see that the text had changed and understood what the next level meant. New assignments. Before I had time to think more Nessie signed time-out._  
_"Sure, sure... Any particular reason?" I smiled at her, she was beautiful where she was laying on my bedroom floor only illuminated by the soft light from a single candle. Lucky we were supernatural or we would never have been able to read what the slots said._  
_"Nope, just wanted to do this before we continued." And once again she crawled up in my lap and kissed me fiercely._

**Naughty board game**

**Nessie**

I wasn't sure what would happen when I pushed the switch, and honestly I was a bit disappointed that shifting the top for new assignments seemed to be all. I guess they didn't have the technology to install fireworks back in the late eighteen hundreds. I tried to shake the feeling as I erected our toppled over figurines. If there was going to be more of this torment, never mind that playing was my suggestion in the first place, I wanted some cuddle time first!

I signed time-out and saw Jacob's handsome face light up in one of those sunshine smiles. He asked why, and as I answered I crawled up in his lap to kiss him. I almost moaned as my naked chest touched his. I placed my lips on his instead and then allowed my skin to melt against his. Not even the heat from his unnaturally warm body, that along with my own had already raised the room temperature to a tropical heat, could stop my nipples from being hard as rocks. I felt his hands grab my butt and press me a little closer and I could feel him being just as hard, just not in the same body parts.

"Jacob..." I was grunting his name between kisses, not really wanting to end the closeness.

"Mmmm? Bit busy here, Sweets..." He continued to caress my behind and then slowly moved upwards, circling his hands, until he was rubbing my shoulders. He then slowly, slowly moved down my sides and then rested his hands on the sides of my boobs. I felt the strongest urge to rub myself against him, to make him touch me like he had on the beach, to place my nipple in his mouth... His hands were perfectly still now, but I could feel something pounding into my hip. If this was going to end like I wanted it to, then I'd better break this off before there was a replay of the beach. I slowly let go of his lips and began to draw back. I looked him deep in the eyes as I backed away, so he'd know I wasn't rejecting him in any way. He held his hands at the side of my boobs as long as he could reach and when they started to slip away from him he swiftly swiped his fingers over my nipples. I couldn't stop the groan that escaped me, and I felt a jolt between my legs. I was still panting from the kissing and the, ehr... cuddling, when I handed him the dice with a pointed look.

"So, time-out's over then? I hope you're ready to be outclassed once more, little girl!" He had just as much problems as I catching his breath, and the sentence was a bit cut up. He smirked at me as he rolled, not knowing I had actually let him win the last round. The roll before he made his final one, my slot had, in addition to the original instructions, said either player had to end evenly on a odd number to finish, if not they'd have to backtrack the remaining steps. But I had said nothing, Jacob was a terrible loser, and I didn't want to ruin the mood. Now I watched him gloat over the 5 he had rolled, and I was curious when he read his instructions several times with furrowed eyebrows.

"What is it?" I wondered. He looked up at me and he wasn't happy.

"It says 'time-out, leave the room for ten minutes and think about your partner in solitude' Bullsh..." Before he could finish I kissed him lightly, not more than a peck really.

"Come on, you think I like it any better. Now hurry out so you can come back!" I wound up the egg timer as he stalked out of the room. I felt my face turn crimson red as I saw the big bulge in the front of his shorts. The pounding between my legs was getting more persistent. I decided to do as instructed, not that I would have been able to keep my thoughts off of him anyway.

Earlier, when I had finished setting all the food I had brought on the table, I had gone searching for Jacob, to tell him the food was ready. I had expected to find him still snoozing, he usually rolled over to sleep some more, no matter what was the occasion.

But his room was empty, and his bed made. When I listened I could hear him in the shower, the door was even open. I shook my head at myself, the sound was loud enough for any normal human to hear, I should be ashamed of myself. I walked into the bathroom, only to stop dead in my tracks. Jacob had his eyes closed where he stood under the drizzle, the curtain was open, because he wouldn't fit inside it anyway. None of this should phase me.

Except, I hadn't seen my Jacob naked before. And I had definitely not seen him play with himself before! I was intrigued, embarrassed and unable to look away all at the same time. I had not been sure whether to take off the prudish dress I wore or not, what I wore underneath could only be called skanky at best, but the vision of him, touching himself and whimpering my name made me back out of the bathroom on the tip of my toes, discard the dress as quickly as I could and then wait for him in the kitchen, listening to every little moan he let out.  
I was still oozing over the memory of Jacob in the shower when the man in my daydream re-entered the room.

"I know it's just 5 minutes, but Ness, I couldn't stand being away from you any longer." His voice was pleading and he was staring at the floor.

"Sure, sure" I mocked him, and he raised his head, only to turn red and look away.

"Shouldn't you get dressed again?" He sounded so awkward and cute.

"Why should I, when you haven't?" I inclined my head towards his naked chest and smiled. "But it doesn't matter, because the rules say" I pointed at the cardboard box which was halfway under his bed "that once a piece of clothing is removed, it is to stay removed." I smiled sweetly at him, and pushed my chest out a little, enjoying the sight of him admiring them.

"Ah, Nessie! That is so cruel. Do you have any idea how close I was to blowing it in my pants, again, when I left the room?" He sounded really embarrassed about it.

"I do. I kind of like it, to have that power over you." I stated the fact bluntly, I couldn't really explain it even to myself.

"Is that so? Well... I guess... Let's... Oh, just roll!" He handed me the dice, and I rolled. I counted my steps out loud as I took them, and when I came to three Jacob interrupted.

"What about not speaking unless it was necessary?" His tone was sarcastic, though not in a mean way, and there was laughter in the atmosphere as I counted up my remaining two slots.

I opened the slot and covered it from his sight with my hand. "Dance for him while you sing your favorite melody." Someone, I guessed Rose, had scratched in 'first song on the radio' beside the first part of the assignment. I continued reading. "Touch the undressed parts of yourself as you dance. Do not let him touch you."  
I got to my feet and headed over to the radio on the bedside table and switched it on. I hummed for myself, waiting for the song to end and a new one to start. Jacob looked incredulous at me, apparently wondering what I was up to.

The new tune came on, and I groaned internally. I love Glee, honestly, but _Halo/Walking on Sunshine_ isn't really ideal for a sensual dance, now is it? I swallowed the bile and started swaying in time to the music. Or flopping is more like it. It felt like instead of touching my boobs I was chasing them. Jacob had caught on to what the assignment was, but he seem more than a little smug and the corner of his mouth twitched lively. The chorus came along and I tried to keep with the swifter beat. Fail, epic fail, I started missing my boobs and heard the boy I was trying to seduce giggle where he sat on the floor, leaning on his bed.

"Jacob!" I glared at him "This is supposed to be romantic, and you giggling isn't helping one bit!"

"Well, Ness... can you really blame me? You and me both know disco or whatever this is, isn't really your style."  
He was right, of course. I did well enough in the classics, no surprise since dad had danced with me since before I could walk. Which was when I was about a month old. But I had never been able to get my body to work right around the more modern, single, dances. I watched music videos with envy, wanting to be able to move like them. I watched Alice too, she had the gift of seeing a move once and then being able to copy it exactly, and after a few tries she would have made it her own. She said it was because she could see all the mistakes she was going to make and just didn't do them.  
I flung myself down on the floor, while throwing a pillow from the bed at the radio so it tipped over on the dresser and turned off.

"Ugh, sorry Ness. I didn't mean to ruin the mood. Please, don't be mad. Or sad." Jacob spoke with his sweetest voice, soothing like velvet.

"It's not your fault, I was already thinking the same. It felt like I was playing "Whac A Mole" with my boobs, never catching them."  
A roaring laugh erupted from the half naked man beside me, and he slumped to his side, dragging me down with him.

"Jeez, woman, you're killing me here" he gasped out between bursts of laughter. "You turn me on so bad I'm seconds from exploding and then you make me laugh so hard I don't know what's up and what's down. If you really wanna dance I can hum for you?" He started humming deep down in his throat, a soft murmur that just made me want to cuddle him even closer.

"No thanks, but please keep on humming, I like that." I snuggled closer, feeling the tingle as my naked chest touched his as I scootched higher to kiss his closed lips. He responded in kind, kissing me back softly, without stopping his humming for even a breath. It was accompanied by a soft tremor, a really warming vibration. I looked up at him.

"Are you purring?" He glared a bit at me, then couldn't hold it and started smiling again.

"Ness, purring is for cute little kittens such as yourself. Now, I'm a big manly werewolf, and we don't purr!" He tensed all the muscles in his chest so that it felt like I was laying on a rock. I traced the contour of one of the muscles.

"So, what is it then, 'cos it sure sounds like purring to me" I winked at him.

"It's called... eh... called..." He started kissing me again, but I fought free and asked him again

"What do you call it?"

"... eh... I mean... We kinda refer to it as... purring..." He whispered the last word softly "for lack of a better word, but only amongst ourselves, and it's nothing like what cats do!"

"Okeeey..." I dragged the syllables mockingly.

"I can teach you, if you want to."

"No thanks. Much nicer laying here on you, being purred on." He started humming louder again, and when he took my lips with his, there was another intensity to the kiss. His hands moved over my bare back, rubbing on colder spots to warm me, not that I needed it with him heating me from underneath, but I liked it so I let him be.

I nibbled his lips and then broke the kiss to take a few panting breaths, and then move to snuggle the soft spot where his neck and shoulders met. I could hear him panting too, but the purring was constant and steady, the vibrations making various parts of my body tingle intensely. I caught his earlobe with my teeth and bit it softly. As he moaned from pleasure his hands, which had moved to massage my butt, pressed me closer to him, and my most tingly spot touched him and the vibrations made me moan loudly too. He broke free of my teeth and bent his head to my ear and whispered "You liked that?" All I could do was to groan something that hopefully could be considered as a yes, because he was still pressing me against his stomach, and I was lost in the tingling.

"You tell me if I go too far, OK?" I tried to nod my head this time, while trying to press even closer to him, it felt so good.

Jacob shifted a little underneath me, and then he flipped us over faster than I could think. I landed with my head on a pillow that he somehow had snatched from the bed in the process. Now it wasn't his hands that pressed me against him, but rather I was pinched between his torso and the floor and I spread my legs to get even closer to that wondrous vibrating sensation. Since there was not much fabric left on the cut-off's I could feel his bare stomach against my inner thighs. I wrapped my legs around him, or I tried, not really reaching. I heard him moan and groan and felt him rummaging about, but I didn't really care as long as he kept purring against my throbbing self. His hands came up the sides of my boobs, and slowly, questioning, he moved to caress them softly.

I was out of breath, but couldn't make myself beg for a breather, I wanted all this so badly, I wanted him to touch me everywhere, all at the same time. I had worried earlier, that when the time to say stop or go came, I would lose my gist and be embarrassed and turn him down. I had been afraid that no matter how much I wanted this, I wouldn't feel ready. Now I knew, with all my heart and soul, that I would never be more ready than this, I loved him, there would never be another and I wanted him. Now. I felt soft breathing on my neck as Jacob whispered in my ear.

"Thank you Ness, thank you for sharing that. I feel the same way"

I had not realized that I had projected, but as he moved of off me to remove the so-called shorts I was glad I had. Not until now I realized that all the rummaging before had been him removing his shorts, and I saw him in all his naked glory. He leaned against me again, kissing me softly.

"You will tell me to stop whenever you want to, you hear me! No thinking, suck it up and be brave, if it hurts you tell me to stop!"  
I couldn't find my voice so I grabbed his hair between my hands and pulled him down into a ferocious kiss, nibbling him as often as I could. And projected "keep purring please" as he settled on top of me again, torso against my most sensitive area.

As soon as the vibrations started the tingling flared up again, and I intentionally let everything I felt flow from my mind to his, which seemed to excite him even more, and the purring grew stronger.

"You know, the vibrations are strongest just below my ribs, it don't vibrate... lower down. You still want to go on?" his concern only made me love him and want him more.

"Jacob Black, if you for a second think you can work me up like this, and then leave me flat on the floor you're badly mistaken and if you do not take me very soon I will wrestle you down and ride you like a pony!" I both felt and heard him snort with laughter.

"Ness..."

"I will!" I used my sternest voice, though my authority might have been dented by the ending turning into a moan as he pressed himself against me roughly.

"I just wondered who taught you to speak like that, it's... kinda sexy..."

It was Leah, but I wouldn't tell him that, that was guaranteed to throw him off his game. Instead I started to try and wiggle out from underneath him, just like I would when we wrestled, and he immediately pinned me down again.

"Nu-uh. This we're doing my way."

He sunk his lips to my neck and kissed me, nibbled me, bit me and even licked in some spots, all the while he was rubbing himself against me and I was whimpering from pleasure. I felt his hand on my nipple, softly rubbing it and the tingles got impossibly stronger. I bucked my hips, to rub myself closer, but he moved back a bit, leaving a gush of cold air to run in between us. I shivered and felt my nipples growing hard as rocks, at the same time as his other hand slowly came up my thigh. I wanted to tell him to stop this fussing and just put it in and have it over with, at the same time I never wanted this to end.

When his fingers reached the soft crease of skin outside he stopped again, and I projected "YES!" before he could even open his mouth to ask me again if I was ready. His fingers moved softly now, very carefully he slid a finger along the edge and then almost accidentally slipped inside. All the way. I couldn't stop the moan, and I didn't want to either, I wanted him to know, not realizing that the direct feed from my feelings to his head would tell him everything. He left my neck and started sucking on my other boob while still twisting the first nipple intensely.

"More?" he huffed out.

I bucked by groin into his hand as answer, and he slipped another finger in. It didn't hurt at all, not that I was sure I felt something from inside at all, when all the outside of me was tingling more for every time his hand stroke against me.

I pleaded to him to not torment me more, to please, please take me.

He slid up me, kissing me softly as he passed my lips, leaving my boob with his hand to support his weight on it and then I felt his fingers leave my inside, though the hand stayed, and then I felt something very warm against me. He slowly, slowly poked inside, not even an inch at the time, all the while he kept touching those tingly spots on the outside, rubbing here, stroking there. And I was bucking my hips to meet him, and it felt weird, it felt big, and it wasn't really comfortable as he moved deeper, but every time he waited it eased, and I couldn't wait for him to be all the way in, because from all I had read and heard, that was when the fun began. He started to pull back, and I tried to wrap my legs around him to stop him, but before I got a good clutch he pushed forward again and my head was reeling from the sensation of him pressing against me as his hand was playing with my nob on the outside. This time I didn't freak when he pulled back, and was ready when he came back down. I had to work hard to keep breathing, there was so much pleasure going on that it was almost too much. He removed his hand, only to place it on my boob, and then I felt his pelvis touch my nob and I reeled again. And again, and again, and again...

-  
**AN:** OK, I admit, this was sadly overdue. I hope you enjoyed it still, and let me know your thoughts, good or bad.


End file.
